Son & Mother

I have a son. I grew up with girls; I have sisters and nieces. I do not understand boys and do not pretend to understand them (they are almost as alien as Texans are, and everyone knows that Texas is another planet) My son is boy through and through. He is all about being a boy. He is yucky, but I'm not allowed to say that because I really don't want my son to think that his mother thinks that he is yucky. So, instead, I will say that he does yucky things. The other day, he climbed into my lap, put his face close to mine, and burped loudly right in my face. Then said with his eyebrows waggling, "Now, we're talking." He also likes to fart, but first he makes sure to catch my eye (to be sure that I am watching) and then he lets go a loud, stinky fart. I'm not going to go into what it takes to get him to use soap when he washes his hands, let's just leave it that he is "allergic" to soap. I'm not sure raising a boy is helping me to understand them any better than I ever did.

Hawk vs. Shaft: A Comparison

Hawk is not a believable character. While Parker tries to make Hawk round, he does not succeed. Hawk falls into the stereotype of John Shaft from the movies Shaft (one of my students asked whether Hawk was fashioned after John Shaft). Hawk and Shaft have similar personalities. First, both of them are tough guys from tough backgrounds. Another way that their personalities are similar is that they both work under their own moral code. Physically they resemble each other. They are strong of the same age. In fact, they are both bald. (OK, outline this paragraph. Does it meet the requirements of a well-developed paragraph? Use your rubric to answer this question)

My Spring Break: An Organized Paragraph

My spring break has not been at all what I had planned. First, I thought I would grade all my midterm exams and papers. Spring break always comes immediately after midterms, so I always plan to get my grading done during the break. Usually, we have to submit our grades immediately after break ends, so I feel pressure to get them done. I also thought that I would prepare my taxes. During classes, it is hard for me to find the time to work on them, so Spring break is the logical time to tackle this unpleasant task. For the last week, I have been trying to get myself to work on these two big projects. I have met with limited success; as a matter of fact, I have not even looked at my taxes, and stacks of papers are still waiting to be graded. I haven’t been completely lazy and unbusy though. One thing I did not expect during this break was reconnecting with an old friend. We were friends in high school, but we lost track of each other while we were in college, ran into each other once about seven years ago, but since then, we had not been in touch at all. During break, we have had time to catch up and renew our friendship. Another thing about my break that I wasn’t expecting is that I have been able to go yoga everyday. Not only have I gone to yoga, I have begun to do inversions, which means going upside down. This is big – I have always been afraid to do these, so even if I was physically able, I held myself back because of fear. Today, with ease, I was able to kick up into a headstand and hold it for thirty seconds. Just to be sure, I did it a second time. What a feeling, to tackle something I was scared to do. Even though I did not accomplish anything I had expected, it has been an excellent Spring break. (This is a planned paragraph, not a freewrite, with some revising and editing. I bet my students would be able to outline it and figure out its pattern of organization.)

Breathing Sideways

When I am not busy being a professor or a mama, I squeeze in a little yoga. Just like I never thought I would be writing a blog, I never thought I would do yoga, especially not “ommming.” But last summer, when I wasn’t teaching and my son was at camp, I started going and quickly became addicted. I had tried yoga before – it had never worked for me because while I was standing doing a pose, my brain was thinking of all the other things I could/should be doing -- exactly the opposite of what one should do while practicing yoga. But this time, for some reason, it works.

Yoga, for me, is not as meditative as I imagine it should be; I have to work hard and think; in fact, I think a lot – are my feet where they should be, what about my hips, where is my weight, and so on. But most importantly, breathe. Yoga instructors talk all the time about breathing, how long, what it should sound like, what the throat should be doing, and so on. Again, a lot of work that can seem complicated and require thought and energy. This is not at all what we usually think about breathing. "Breathing sideways", which is what one wants to do when practicing yoga, is even harder.

After spending the last 7 months learning to breathe and thinking about it breathing sideways has become a reminder to stop, take a breath, and think. To center myself whatever it is I am doing – teaching, mothering, driving in traffic, or waiting in line at the grocery store. My constant is trying to breathe sideways. And as they say in yoga, breathing leads to inspiration. For me that is calm, careful thought. I try to do this all the time.

Multitasking Gone Awry

Changing sheets, laundry in the dryer, popcorn popping in the microwave. Son getting the 30 minutes of screen time he earned this morning by making his bed and putting his toys away. Phone rings, good friend in NY who had her second baby 7 weeks ago is calling. The first time in 7 weeks we actually manage to connect. Starting to catch up. Bed almost made. Smoke! Son so absorbed in Curious George, he doesn’t even notice. Ut oh, the popcorn! Still trying to carry on a conversation. So burnt it is dust. Jeez, the smell. Tears over burnt popcorn. Continuing conversation, new bag of popcorn in the oven. Curious George carries on, son telling me to stay low to the ground – because of the smoke – and putting soaking wet toilet paper around each of the doors – again because of the smoke. So glad he learned what to do in case of a fire at school. House full of smoke. Smoke detectors must not work. Still talking and making appropriate noises to show that I am listening. Turn the exhaust fan on in the kitchen. Bed is made. Asking friend abut child care. Popcorn out of the oven. Son happy. Finish the conversation. Crisis over. Go get the dry clothes out of the dryer.

Baby Borrowers -- Reality TV

While watching the first episode of “Baby Borrowers” – a reality tv show about teenagers trying on parenthood -- I had all sorts of things that I wanted to write about, most of them pretty negative: always blaming other people, not taking responsibility for one’s actions, and not being able to see beyond oneself that there are other people in the world. Ugh. But instead, I’ll attempt to take the positive route. Sean – he has this evil master plan to make his girlfriend realize that she is not ready to become a mom because he isn’t ready to be a dad. But instead, the baby falls for him and he for her. They turn out to be really quite sweet and natural together. His girlfriend, on the other hand, is jealous and angry that their baby only stops crying when she is with Sean, who is the inexperienced one. She has all the baby experience. Jordon and Sasha are the most successful so far. They are good with their baby and good with each other. Jordon relishes his role as father and “husband.” Telling Sasha to relax while he does the heavy lifting; Sasha happily relinquishing. They seem the most honest; they are scared before the baby comes; they are concerned that their baby is comfortable and ok, and they are concerned with each other. They take responsibility for the baby. Most importantly, they are able to put her needs first ahead of themselves and their needs. That’s what parenthood is all about.

"Mama You're Hot"

One afternoon, out of the blue while hanging out together, my 6 year old son said, "Mama, you're hot!" Sound of my jaw hitting the floor but trying not to let him see how shocked I am. "Does he really know what that means?" I ask myself. As nonchalantly as I can, I ask, "Where did you learn that?" "Hotel for Dogs" he says. "So what does that mean?" "Really, really, really, really beautiful." Oh, I see. "But actually, Grandmum is most hotter than you."